How to deal with drifting away from friends at uni

Losing contact with old friends is, unfortunately, an inevitable consequence of going to university. It’s an unpleasant phase that happens to most people and is completely normal. However, this doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Drifting away from friends can be upsetting and hurtful, especially when the reluctance to lose contact is only one-sided, so here’s how to deal with drifting away from friends at uni and some tips which will hopefully make this phase easier to cope with.

Remember that it’s not necessarily permanent

You and your school friends may have drifted apart now, but that doesn’t mean that it will always be that way. People can also drift back together depending on circumstances. Once you go home for the holidays or finish university, you may become closer again. Plus, you may feel closest to your university friends now, but that can change once you finish university. People come and go all the time, so it’s not necessarily the end of your friendship.

Try not to focus on the past

Looking through old pictures and reminiscing over texts is enough to make anyone feel very depressed. Avoid sifting through virtual memories on social media and instead, try to remain positive by looking at the current friendships which you have now at university. Focus on enjoying yourself and staying positive. Make new memories with your new friends, rather than old memories in the past.

Be honest with people

Letting your old friends know how you feel is very important. If you dislike that you’re drifting apart and feel hurt that they don’t seem to care, then make sure that you tell them this. You will regret it if you don’t and you will always be left wondering what would have happened if you’d spoken up. For all you know, your friends could be feeling exactly the same as you, but are too proud to say anything.

Drop them a text

How do you lose contact with someone? By not talking to them. Instead of stalking them on social media and getting jealous over their new friends, drop your friend a text or FaceTime them to have a catch-up. Scrolling through pictures of your friend having fun at uni with their new mates is unavoidably going to dampen your mood. Whether it’s a friend or an ex, stalking someone you miss on social media is never a good idea and solves nothing, so be pro-active.

Accept that letting them go is ok

You will never know unless you work at it. However, sometimes it’s okay just to let people go as there comes a point when you have to stop trying. For whatever reason, you and your friend have drifted apart. It’s not your fault, and it doesn’t mean that either of you is a bad person.

Ursula Rifat

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