The complete A-Z of going out at uni

You know you’ve always wondered…

A is for… Amateur DJ

We’ve all got that one mate who thinks that he’s the next Avicii just because he went to Ibiza once and has a Soundcloud account. Every pre-drinks will inevitably start with him eagerly hunched over the speakers, scrolling his Spotify playlist and bopping his head along to a monotonous beat.

B is for… Bevs

The (questionable) music is playing loudly, and the drinks are cracked open – whether you prefer chugging vodka cokes or strawpedoing Strongbow, bevs are the social lubricant that gets every night started.

C is for… Crisps

Undoubtedly someone’s stocking up on your food in an effort to make their student loan go further… or maybe they’ve just got the munchies? They’ll rummage through cupboards, leaving a disgruntled flatmate wondering where their pringles have gone in the morning.

D is for… Drinking games

Never Have I Ever, Beer pong, Fuzzy Duck and Dirty Pint – you name it. Pre-drinks aren’t complete without a round of Ring of Fire or Drunk Jenga.

E is for… Entry

Start pacing yourself now or the Bouncer definitely won’t be letting you in.

F is for… Flakers

You’ll always get people bailing on you before a night out. Expect the usual flurry of Whatsapp messages just when the party’s getting started – “oh, sorry, I forgot – another time!”

G is for… Generosity

Prior to the pre-drinks, you’ve been eyeing up your flatmate’s expensive vodka knowing soon that it will be yours. It’s no secret that when people get drunk, their generosity knows no bounds. Soon various drinks are being poured and thrust into your hands with vigour.

H is for… Hogging

There’s always someone who hogs the loo and ends up staying there all night. Whether it’s redoing their make-up, throwing-up or simply just falling asleep on the toilet, it’s just damn annoying.

I is for… Instagram

The camera’s flashing, the filters are out in full force, and everyone in their drunken state soon feels like they’re a celeb being hounded by the Pap. Soon your DMs are rapidly blowing up on Instagram once you’ve uploaded pics of you and your mates looking fly in your student kitchen.

J is for… Jacuzzi

Just joking – this isn’t Made in Chelsea. We’ll just have to settle for Beer Pong instead.

K is for… Kindness

At every night out, there always seems to be a girl crying in the bathroom about her cheating boyfriend. Cue her girlfriends gathering around and comforting her – “You’re so much better than him, babe.”

L is for… Legging it

Before you know it, it’s already 11 pm, and the taxis are on their way. Subsequently, the next 10 minutes are absolute chaos – everyone is rushing up and down the stairs, spilling drinks in their urgency to find wallets and scrambling around to find their misplaced keys.

M is for… Manners (or lack thereof)

When queueing outside the nightclub, there is always someone trying to cheekily squeeze their way in front of you to catch up with their mates.

N is for… Noise

You’re finally in the club and you can barely hear over the loud pulsating music.

O is for… Overindulgence

You’ve bought several rounds of overpriced Jagerbombs, eight shots and several cocktails yet you show no sign of stopping.

P is for… Pull

Need I say more?

Q is for… Queen

The night is drawing to a close, and as soon as We Will Rock You comes on to wrap things up, you realise that it’s time to call it a day (or should I say night?).

R is for… Rain

Typically, it will always start raining after you’ve left the club and before you know it, you’re soaking wet and huddling under the neon lights at McDonald’s.

S is for… Skint

After spending all your remaining money on that chicken and bacon footlong, you only have about 10p to your name.

T is for… Taxi

Don’t be silly – you can’t afford one of these.

U is for… Unlikely pairings

Nights out are full of people getting together who you didn’t think would. You find yourself hanging out with friends who you had no idea would have a thing going.

V is for… Vino

You may have left the club, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to let that bottle of wine go to waste.

W is for… Walking back

You and your mates have got no money left, so a walk back is more realistic than the luxury of a people carrier. You just wish that you’d taken comfier shoes with you.

X is for… Xtra chats

You get waylaid on your way back, and soon that stop at your mate’s to say ‘hi’ has turned into a couple of hours of chatting and drinking.

Y is for… Yo

You’re finally home. Just when you’re about to get into bed, your phone vibrates, and a familiar number pops up again. It’s your booty call – “Yo, you awake?”. Too late. You’re off to bed.

Z is for… Zzzz

As soon as your head touches the pillow, you fall asleep. You’ll have the joy of dealing with a terrible hangover in the morning – but for now, that can wait.

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