What it’s really like living in halls as a fresher

When you move out of home and into halls, you get a new sense of freedom. Finally, you’ve got independence and a whole lot of responsibilities. So, what’s living in halls really like for a fresher? Glamorous? Sophisticated? Maybe not… Here’s what living in student accommodation is really like for a fresher.

Getting creative with the dishes

No, seriously, that meme you saw of the kid using tin foil for a bowl? Tried it. I’ve cooked pasta in frying pans. Fried eggs in pots. I’ve even gone out and bought paper plates and plastic cutlery when I just couldn’t be bothered with doing any chores that week. Honestly, it was either watching the sink overflow or quickly and easily throw away the ‘dishes’ to never think of them again. Don’t get me wrong – you’ll also be stuck with that one flatmate you’ll see every now and again having a mental breakdown because the kitchen is a mess – unless you’re that flatmate, then good luck to you!

Running out of… everything??

You don’t need to worry too much about doing the dishes when you’ve got a ‘mouse’ eating everything and anything out of your fridge. During my first year, our flat had a butter thief. They didn’t act slyly, somehow taking forkfuls of butter out of our packets. Some of the flat came together to suss out the thief, almost like a game of Cluedo, but we could never prove who it was. You might learn to live on rations too when you can hardly be bothered to do a food shop. Asda delivery was my saviour until I got a car. You’ll also run out of clean underwear. I mean, you could just go out and wash it, but what’s the point in that when it’s even easier to go commando for the next few days?

Sex isn’t so sexy…

Okay, I know you’ve imagined it before… you’ve bagged a lad or lass from the club, and you’ve managed to get them back to yours. You’re ready to seal the deal. Candles? Romantic music? Pfft, try a bedroom that looks like a bomb went off in it and your flatmates cheering on the whole session. At least if you dragged them to yours, it wouldn’t be you doing the walk of shame across campus. Your walk of shame will probably be to the sexual health clinic, though. Stock up on some condoms during fresher’s week; you won’t regret it. And don’t worry about the flatmates, it’ll be your turn to wind them up next time.

The ghost flatmate

No, seriously, has anyone ever seen them? Do they, like, exist? They seem to only ever pop out of their room for a few seconds at a time. Before you know it, they’ve grabbed something from the kitchen and retreated to their room. When they’re not hiding, they’re out of the flat. To be honest, you never really know if they’re in the flat or not. At least they don’t ever cause you any bother.

The Group Chat

Done something wrong? Maybe you forgot to tidy the bathroom after your shower, or perhaps it’s your turn to take the bins out. Don’t worry – it’ll be broadcast in the group chat somewhere for everyone to see. Somewhere, in those 145+ missed messages for you to read. Literally, the group chat is the only thing you’ll really need to speak to your flatmates – especially the ghost. Whether it’s on Facebook, Snapchat or Whatsapp, every flat’s got one. It’s cool, though, as when you’re not being roasted, you’ll be planning your next sesh or just getting the daily goss in.

The parties

Okay, the parties are the real reason anyone stays in halls. Right? They’ll get wild, you’ll most likely lose or break some stuff in your flat – and I’m not talking about your dignity. There’s going to be that one person who always shouts for a brutal game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ to begin, and that other person who always ends up completely wasted by the end of it. You can bet there will be a battle station set up for beer pong, maybe even prosecco pong if you’re lucky, or if you’re unlucky it’ll be whatever booze is lying around. You’ll have a card master who’ll only ever announce a game of ‘Ring of Fire’, and then there are those kids who’ll bring their decks of magic and sit in the corner all night?

(Dude, those kids are cool, don’t judge them.)

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