Everything you wanted to know about sex at uni but were too afraid to ask

Sex is on many students’ minds, especially when starting uni. ‘Is it okay that I’m a virgin?’ ‘Will everyone be having sex on Freshers’ Week?’ Try not to worry, you’ll be surprised by how non-judgemental your uni mates are likely to be.

Should I lie about my experiences?

It’s a common conception that life at uni will involve a lot of sex, with lots of different people. When else in your life will you be surrounded by thousands of horny undergrads? It seems like the perfect chance for sexual experimentation.

But nobody cares if you’re a virgin at the start of uni. I know a lot of people who were virgins coming to uni, but they saw uni life as an opportunity to meet people rather than seeing their inexperience as a disadvantage. This is the right attitude! It’s perfectly normal to not have much, or any, experience prior to uni, and there’s absolutely no pressure to jump into anything the moment Freshers’ Week starts either.

Sex will come up in casual conversation, there’s no doubt about it

I don’t mean at the breakfast table (well, maybe…), but certainly, your friends will be interested in your experiences and you’ll probably be interested in theirs. So, don’t feel any shame for what you have or haven’t done. Uni is a huge mix of students in long-term relationships, those just looking to have some fun, those who have no experience and others who cringe even at the idea of sex. You’ll meet loads of people in the same boat as you.

Some students tend to shout about their sexual encounters, which can be intimidating

Boasting on Facebook group chats, or proudly displaying charts listing sexual conquests on the fridge door are just a couple of examples of this. Hearing about the ins and outs (no pun intended) of others’ sex lives can be a bit of a drag, especially if you’re anxious about the whole sex thing, but don’t stop to compare yourself to others. Everyone does their own thing, which should be what they are comfortable with. You should do the same.

Is there any privacy?

Finally, if you’ve moved out of your parents’ house then first-year usually means living in halls. And living in halls means living in close proximity to lots of highly sexual young adults, separated only by paper-thin walls. This inevitably means being disturbed by interesting sex noises in the middle of the night or being interrupted by your nosey friends when you’re trying to get it on with the fit guy from down the hall.

You just have to laugh it off: sex is a part of uni, and weirdly you might miss having your best friend right across the corridor to listen to stories of your sexual (mis)adventures the next morning. Just remember to stay safe…and always be proactive about your sexual health, whether it be a UTI or STI.

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