Why you need to cut off your situationship

It’s 2018, and people aren’t dating anymore. They’re ‘talking’. Inevitably catching feelings, but running from the commitment, denying it. Ending up in situationships.

But what exactly is a situationship? To sum it up, it’s more than friends with benefits, but less than a relationship. It usually has all of the characteristics of a relationship, but without the label, and without the true commitment. It usually occurs when two people have been talking and hanging out for months, they act like a couple, but they aren’t “boyfriend and girlfriend”.

Situationships aren’t something you plan on, they sort of just fall into place, and one day you wake up and realise what’s happened. They’re so common in the millennial world of “dating” (if you can even refer to it as that), but they’re often problematic and toxic in the end. I know, they’re hard to cut off – how can you break up with someone you aren’t really ‘with’? But you can, and you should. Here are all the reasons why you need to ditch your situationship once and for all.

The constant mixed signals

The confusion and mixed signals that come with a situationship are just not healthy for you. One minute you’re comforting them when they are sad, and sleeping over 3 times a week, the next week it turns cold and it feels like you don’t exist. This is because you’ve got yourself into an arrangement that has no commitment and no loyalty. And this affects your self-esteem…

You lose self-esteem and confidence

The problem with a situationship is it often leaves one person wondering why they just aren’t ‘good enough’. When you put so much time, energy and love into something and the other person still can’t decide whether they want you enough to be in a fully-blossomed relationship, you start to think the problem is with you. But trust me, it’s not. It’s horrible, and it’s sad, but your time has probably been wasted, and you have to accept it to move on because nothing is worth destroying your own self-esteem over.

You’re stuck in limbo

Being in a relationship is awesome, being single is awesome. I tell you what isn’t awesome – being sort-of-half-single-half-taken. You put your dating life on hold and probably miss out on that guy/girl who is crazy about you and keeps hounding you for a chance to take you for a drink because you’re being loyal to your situationship. So not only are you missing out on enjoying independent and free single life, but you aren’t getting the true benefits of a relationship either.

You become insecure

A situationship usually ends up being tiring and draining. It’s easy to find yourself becoming really insecure because, not only has your self-esteem lowered, but you also can’t even allow yourself normal jealousy boundaries, because, in case you forgot… you aren’t actually together.

You waste your boyfriend/girlfriend benefits

In a situationship, you will end up giving our boyfriend and girlfriend benefits now and then, but because there is no label, there is no guarantee that this will carry on from one week to the next. You’re wasting love, energy, and attention on someone who won’t fully commit to you.

So, maybe you read this and realised that this is the exact situation you’re in. My word of advice? Discuss it with your situationship ‘friend’, and if they aren’t on the same page as you, cut it off cleanly. The convenience and comfort of it are not worth the confusion, the second-guessing, the lowered self-esteem, and the sense that you’re losing your worth. The problem with situationships is, ultimately, they are more like sh*tsuationships.

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