How to recognise a toxic friend

Even our closest and dearest friends can irritate the hell out of us sometimes, and it’s no big deal to feel like you need a breather from spending every waking moment with your best mate. But, if you find yourself more upset than you are happy when you’re with a particular friend, it might just be a toxic friendship. Check out 5 ways to recognise a toxic friend:

1. They act envious and jealous of you

When you smash that 1:1 and they aren’t too pleased with their own grade, do they make jealous and snide comments, or are they genuinely happy for you? Do they invite you for celebratory drinks when you ace your job interview, or do they brush it off with a begrudging “congrats”? True friends should be your biggest supporters and no.1 fans. If they aren’t – ditch ‘em.

2. They’re always negative

We all have bad days, and sometimes it’s all too easy to dramatically say “I hate my life” when you get to the library café and the coffee machine has broken and you have 3,000 words to write. But if your friend is constantly complaining, criticising and being negative around you, even if it isn’t aimed at you, it just isn’t good for attempts to keep upbeat and positive.

3. They don’t make an equal effort

If you feel like it’s always you reaching out, always you arranging that coffee meet up, and always you texting to ask how they are, just stop. If they don’t think that your friendship is important enough to reach out themselves now and then, then they don’t deserve your friendship. Friendships should be made up of equal effort.

4. They don’t make time for you

Ever had a friend start bailing on you every weekend because of their boo or a new friend? Of course, if you are demanding their undivided attention, you are the problem. But, if they have completely forgotten you exist because of a new person in their life, that is not what good friends do. True friends will always make time for you because they value your relationship. Over time you need to accept that friendship can naturally lead to people drifting away.

5. They aren’t happy for you

On the flip side, sometimes friends become overly jealous the second you start a new relationship or make a new friend. If they aren’t happy for you being happy and don’t seem to tolerate you enjoying anyone else’s company but their own, they are bad news. Cut them out before their horrible jealousy and neediness rub off on you!

On a side note, if you think that your friend happens to be struggling with mental health issues. Here’s how to be compassionate when your friend is suffering from their mental health.

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