What your choice of takeaway says about you

You can’t judge a book by its cover – but you CAN judge a person by their choice of takeaway…Check out our list that tells you what your choice of takeaway says about you:

Pizza – the absolute liability

A pizza muncher can be found most Saturday mornings pouring over a Dominoes menu with one hand, and the other frantically making voice note after voice note to send to her gals’ group chat to let them know that she did the exact opposite of their advice, and did in fact sleep with her ex last night.

After getting the same pizza as always (double pepperoni with garlic dip), she’ll pass the time waiting for it to arrive by removing last night’s makeup from under her eyes, tapping through her embarrassingly long Snapchat story, and scrolling through all the cringe-worthy drunk texts she sent to the entire rugby team. In her chaotic life, at least pizza is a constant. She’s probs on first name terms with the delivery guy too.

Indian – the mum friend

Wholesome, organised, and always down for a chicken tikka, a mum friend and an Indian go hand in hand. A great way to bond, a mum friend will be the one noting down all the different curries and sides that everyone wants, ready to bark them down the phone to the takeaway.

She’ll always let you have some of her poppadoms, and she always knows just how much rice to order to minimise waste, but achieve the ultimate rice-to-curry ratio.

She’ll manage to clear all the shit off your kitchen table in 0.2 seconds to make space for all the lamb bhunas and chicken kormas you’ve just ordered with military-like efficiency, and it’s thanks to her that ordering something so complex can be made so simple. We stan mum friends!!!

Chippy – the good time gal

Easily spotted at your local takeaway at 4 am chatting to Boss Man while waiting for her ‘usual’ – cheesy chips with gravy – the good time gal is cheap and cheerful, just like her choice of takeaway. Always willing to see the best in everyone – she’ll defend the chippy down the road to the death, in spite of its 1-star hygiene rating – this girl isn’t phased by finding the odd hair in her food. Up for a laugh and down for anything, everyone wants to be mates with a chippy girl.

Chinese – the basic Fiat 500 bitch

Chips, chicken balls, and egg-fried rice? A basic takeaway for a basic biatch. But, as with most ‘basic’ things – who can really blame her for liking them? Yeah, chips from a Chinese aren’t the most exciting option, but they’re BANGING.

Just as everyone hates on super-comfy Fila Disruptors and super-cute Fiat 500s, Chinese takeaways get a lot of unwarranted hate. They’re basic, but they’re GREAT. So, unashamed and unabashed in liking the simpler things in life, Chinese takeaway girls, I salute you.

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