Everything you’ll be dreading about moving to London after you graduate

So, you conquered your small home town at school, and then you conquered your middling British city at uni. And now? Now you’re left with the challenge of conquering the big smoke when you inevitably move there for some glamorous grad job. Terrified of moving to London? Read on…

What even is the tube?

Northern Line? Circle and District Line? Bakerloo Line? These are all just words to me. It was hard enough to get my head around navigating a city like Leeds, but now you’re telling me there are different ZONES of London that I have to suss out? Reckon I’ll skip the hassle and rent a flat in Hertfordshire and commute in, tbh.

What if I get lost?

For me, getting lost in Leeds means taking a wrong turn and adding an extra five minutes onto my journey time – but getting lost in London? What if I get on the wrong train at King’s Cross and end up in Paris? Moving to London will turn you into a human GPS.

It’s so BIG

At present, if a mate wants me to come over, it’ll take me ten minutes max to get anywhere in Hyde Park (the Leeds one, duh) from my house. In London, I’ll probably need a week’s notice and then two tubes, a bus, and to sacrifice my first-born son just to ‘pop over’ to a friend’s.

It’s so SPENNY

Why is rent double what I’m paying now – and for a room that’s half the size of mine now? Why is stuff more expensive in the supermarkets? Why does even SPOONS cost more? I swear I can be in London for five minutes and somehow my bank balance will decrease just by me breathing. Living in London will teach you to be a budget master, even learning to live on £5 a week.

There are so many people!

At school, I was a big fish in a small pond. At uni, I’m a middling fish in a middling pond. In London… I’ll doubtless be a tiny, tiny fish in a GIGANTIC ocean. I’m not ready!

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