5 types of people at Easter

With the uncertainty of looming deadlines and the end of the uni year, we’re in desperate need for stability. Thankfully, Easter is one holiday you can count on for consistency due to the guaranteed gorging it brings. You also pretty consistently meet certain types of people at Easter (and at least three of them are living with you). Which one are you?

The Spoiled One

Prides themselves on the number of eggs they’ve received. Always one-ups you. You’ve got a Tesco Value egg? They have on-brand ones. Oh, you do too? Now they exclusively have Hotel Chocolat.

Will order another wave of choc on Amazon Prime if it’s suspected you have more than them. Often spotted stacking their eggs like a tower.

The Guilty One

“You have how many eggs? Wow, my parents said they weren’t bothering this year, but I am so happy for you. Seriously, mate: nice one”.

You will feel intensely guilty about any egg collection in your room whenever you chat with this friend. Annoyingly, nothing is ever explicit, so you’ll find it hard calling them out for it. On the bright side, they’re The Spoiled One’s foil, and it’s brilliant watching them tear each other apart.

The Hidden One

Key features:
• Hides all their eggs.
• Has choc at the corners of their mouths at all times (you know the type).
• Won’t ever reference Easter. Changes subject if brought up.
• Popular excuses if you find their eggs:
o “Oh, you know, I just have lots of family.”
o “Thought I’d treat myself after that essay.”
o “How did that get there?”
o sweats nervously “haha actually these are for you mate”.
• Is sometimes also Guilty or Spoiled, but never both.

The Healthy One

Occasionally glances up from their bowl of almonds and lettuce at the noise of you demolishing your third egg of the night. Implies you’re a pig with passive-aggressive smiles and gestures but, like The Guilty One, never outright says it. Saves Easter Eggs ‘for a cheat day’. Still has chocolate from Christmas 2017.

The Religious One

Most of you will use Easter as an excuse to eat, which is why I’ve got a lot of respect for Christians. Their friends are stuffing their faces while they celebrate Christ instead. That takes a level of self-control I could only wish for.

Now, if you’ll excuse me unwraps another Crème Egg.

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