Jordan Hames and emotional immaturity
The nation exploded with rage when Love Island’s Jordan Hames attempted to graft India under Anna’s – his new girlfriend’s – nose on Tuesday night’s show. And I’m sure loads of girls, unfortunately, were relating HARD to Anna and her situation.
It was choice phrases of Jordan’s that hit a little too close to home. ‘We’re not having as much fun’, ‘feelings change’, ‘I should be obsessed with my girlfriend’ — phrases which reek of emotional immaturity.
Because, Jordan, relationships can’t always be ‘fun’ and you will never find what you’re looking for if you want to be permanently ‘obsessed’ with your girlfriend. As Anna rightly pointed out, while part of a relationship is certainly about having fun together, an equal part is similarly about being there to support each other when times are hard. Another incredibly large part is about the mundane, average times together. If Jordan thinks a relationship ought to shake up his life and take it from the ordinary and every day to another glamorous and more ‘fun’ plane of existence… he’s wrong.
I’ve met men – no, boys – who, under the guise of being a ‘romantic’ harbour this festering emotional immaturity. Whilst having someone who claims to be a perfectionist in relationships can feel pretty damn good in the moment – it can leave you thinking ‘wow, I must be special to meet this guy’s criteria’ – he’ll quickly lose interest when things start plateauing. It’s unhealthy. But if it’s any consolation – he’ll never find what he’s looking for if he doesn’t change his stance.
Sure, most relationships have a honeymoon period where you’re pretty ‘obsessed’ with the other, but Jordan and Anna have been together (albeit not officially) for six weeks. Is Jordan really not emotionally mature enough to see that, had India succumbed to his (pretty limited) charms, he would have felt similarly disillusioned with her somewhere along the line?
Of course, you should like your partner, duh. They should at least make you a little giddy at times and in spite of any arguments or blips, you should ultimately still enjoy spending time with them. But Jordan, if you’re chasing instant gratification with no regard for long-term stability in relationships? Good luck finding anything that lasts.