Why Love Island USA just can’t compete

The latest series of Love Island wrapped up last month and saw plenty of drama, coupling up and, of course, the famous phrase “I’ve got a text!”. For those of us who couldn’t let go, and have access to American TV (or a poor internet provider), we were able to get a further Love Island fix from across the pond. Having seen a little bit myself while in America recently, I can’t help but think Love Island USA just can’t compete with the UK original.

No swearing

Love Island USA airs on CBS at 8 pm and producers have already spoken about how, given the broadcasting standards, expletives will be ‘bleeped out’. So, gone are the swearing matches by the pool, and I predict that the famous Twitter challenge we love in the UK version won’t be as dramatic across the pond.

Toned down swimwear

Though it’s super depressing watching the islanders saunter around in their swimwear, it’s interesting to get some style inspo or even just to tell ourselves we’d never wear anything like that. That’s why I’m disappointed that the US version has vowed to ‘tone down’ the contestants’ outfits.

The host just isn’t the same

Unlike Caroline Flack, whose background is in presenting and TV work, Love Island US is hosted by social media influencer Arielle Vandenburg. There’s no sexy saunter into the villa; instead, Arielle cracks jokes. If ‘Can you see the chip to your dip?’ is anything to go by, her jokes are just cringey.

The narrator doesn’t have the banter, either

Sometimes a narrator is what makes an ok show a better one, and that’s the case with Love Island. If the islanders’ banter is a bit dry, at least we can rely on the narrator to crack a joke. The narrator of the US version just isn’t as savage as Ian Sterling and, to cut through the staged nature of the show, that’s exactly what is needed.

It’s so American

Yes, I know it’s the US version. Sure, the contestants are tanned, toned and looking for love (or money) just like the contestants on the UK version, but phrases like “I’m sick of situationships” and “Imma let Jesus take the wheel” just make me cringe beyond belief. I won’t lie, hearing people say things like that makes me want to hear the equally cringey ‘TEXT!’.

I can’t speak for everyone, and the promise of a second season obviously means it must’ve done ok, but I just feel like some quintessentially British shows (cough, cough, The Inbetweeners, cough, cough) should be left alone.

Image: CBS

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