It’s not the end of the world if you don’t bond with your flatmates

If you’re lucky, your flatmates will become your best mates, but I think it’s important to stress that this really is a case of luck. While it may look like everyone meets their best friends in halls, that isn’t how it works for the majority of people. Myself included.

I missed the boat for official uni accommodation as I went to Leeds through Clearing, so I was placed in halls which harboured a real mix of students – I was with a few other freshers, but my flat also had one final year and one postgrad. We also weren’t all from the same uni.

I don’t think any of us let these difference really get to us – I suppose you expect to be in a flat with everyone the same age as you and at the same uni – but once I processed the situation, I realised it didn’t really matter. We were all ROUGHLY the same age, and all students, so the differences weren’t that insurmountable.

We didn’t NOT get on. If I was in the kitchen I could make conversation with any of them – apart from maybe the one girl who I saw twice the whole time, but she was a bit of an anomaly – but it became apparent pretty quickly that we didn’t have a lot in common. Different interests, hobbies, tastes in music, attitudes towards social issues… we were about as mixed a bag as you could get.

I was pretty disheartened to tell you the truth. Everyone has this image of your flatmates becoming like a second family, but I realised almost immediately that this wasn’t going to happen for me.

That’s not to say I didn’t make friends – I made friends in societies and from my course. And if you find you don’t get on with your flatmates, I’m certain the same will happen for you.

Because if you think about it, your flatmates are always going to be pretty random. With a society or a course you know you already have a shared interest, but with flatmates? It’s arbitrary. So don’t think of yourself as some social disaster if you’re not clicking with your flatmates – very few people actually end up becoming close with them, and if they do? It’s the luck of the draw. Focus on making friends elsewhere and hold tight until second year!

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