5 red flags that should be your dating deal-breakers

You’re on a first date, and the person opposite you is kitted out in a beautiful array of red flags. You’re ignoring the flags so expertly that you may as well lean over the table seductively, flick your hair and giggle, “Wow, I love those! Is that a new trend? What colour are they? Crimson? Scarlet?”.

NO. Don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t glorify the red flags. Don’t knit a fetching scarf from the red flags. Turn on your heel and GO.

1. If they say: “You’re not like other girls”.

Oooh, THANK YOU, an ingrained sexist stereotype disguised as a compliment! MY FAVOURITE! So, they think women, in general, are uninteresting, unintelligent and talentless? Next time someone says this to you, try looking them dead in the eye and saying “What exactly do you mean by that?”. They’ll probably pack their bags out of fear. Problem solved.

2. If they demand to know your sexual history

Sure, get tested when you enter a new relationship. Sexual health is very important. But don’t demand to know how many people they’ve slept with. Not necessary. Not relevant. Not important.

3. If they don’t like you having friends of the same sex

This is a big red flag. BOTH sexes should be able to have friends of ANY gender they wish. So long as you don’t cross-relationship boundaries, which you shouldn’t do with friends anyway, then you are doing NOTHING wrong.

4. If they want you to change

You aren’t there to be modelled into their “perfect ideal”. You already are YOUR perfect person and plenty of peoples’ perfect person. Leave them to find someone who fits their stupid ideals – don’t change for anyone.

5. If they say, “Ugh, I totally like, hate labels, we should be chill.”

This isn’t a challenge… it’s your signal to go. A huge, glaring red flag. They will want relationship benefits without the commitment or labelling – they want a situationship. They won’t want you to date other people, but they also won’t commit to you. If you’re dating a guy, when they say this they always mean exactly what they say (for once): they will never commit to you. Don’t waste time when you could be working on yourself or dating people who would do anything to call you theirs.

Relationships like this can be messy and take long periods of time to fully end and have cut off. But don’t forget to have a positive support network to help you cope with the post-breakup phase.

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