‘Freshers friends’ aren’t always your BFFs

While achieving the right grades and getting into uni is the biggest relief in the world, the lead up to freshers can be daunting. You’ll have so many questions flying around your head like; ‘will I like my course?’, ‘how do I find my timetable?’, ‘which are the best events in freshers?, and the big one: ‘will I be friends with my flatmates?’ So many people will feel a little nervous about this, and that’s absolutely fine – you’ll meet tonnes of people in Freshers’ Week.

While many students find their uni best mate on the first night of freshers either in their flat or next door, not everyone gets on with their flat and that’s ok. Just know that you’re not the only one and that you can move flats if absolutely necessary. If not, there are other ways to make friends in first year!

For me, I thought I’d found my bffl living in the room next door. After our parents forced us to say hello to each other in the kitchen because we were suddenly five-years-old on the first day of school again and too afraid to speak for ourselves, we soon became each other’s heroes and joined forces with a third friend.

Throughout freshers, the three of us had each other’s backs and embarked on this exciting new chapter of our lives together. I honestly thought I wouldn’t need other friends.

However, this was not the case; we soon drifted apart as we were on different courses, and I started to hang out with other people too. I should have recognised that the friendship had become outdated. Soon we drifted so far apart that when it came to that time of the semester where you start looking at houses, they told me that I couldn’t live with them. I was devastated and terrified – who would I live with now?

After a period of crying, I got to know my course-mates better and joined societies and signed for a house with a lovely group of girls who were not in my accommodation. All of my closest friends now are not people I lived within first year, and that’s ok.

For ages I felt like there was something wrong with me – why wouldn’t someone want to live me? But now I’ve realised that I just wasn’t living with the right people. By joining societies, I’ve met like-minded people who share common interests and are my mates for life, while still staying in contact with those from my first year flat.

So my advice would be, don’t worry if you don’t get on with your flatmates, uni is such a big place, and there are always ways to make other friends. Just make sure that you have a close friend to talk to and you’ll have a smashing time.

Tilly O’Brien

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