Everything you’ll relate to if you have a mum of colour
Everyone has issues with their mum from time to time, but if your mum is non-white, a ‘MoC’, here are a few things you might have in common with fellow PoC. Prepare for some brutal honesty.
She is always right
It doesn’t matter what point you try to raise, whether you hit her with facts, whether your dad backs you up… she is always right. What’s amazing is her sureness of herself. Literally nothing will be able to shift her point of view. Impressive, really.
Your white friends literally do not get it
‘Why don’t you try talking to her?’, ‘Why don’t you raise it with her calmly?’, ‘Why don’t you say something?’ – LOL. Good one. Talking to your MoC isn’t an option when there’s a conflict between you and her, you just have to apologise and apologise until she forgives you.
You die inside hearing how they talk to their mums
When I was little, I remember one of my friends telling her mum she looked old. Contrary to being chased around the house with a stick, her mum laughed. I tried imagining what my mum would have done in that scenario and tbh I’d probably be dead.
Academic success >>>>
It’s more anxiety-inducing than the exams themselves. A’s aren’t okay. Only A*’s are. But let’s be real, no matter what you get she’ll tell your relatives back home that you got all A*’s because she’d probs die of shame otherwise.
The mood swings
At 14:56 your MoC will scream at you for not being friendly enough to Aunty on the phone. Something like, “Don’t you know Aunty has known you since you were a baby? You should show some more respect! She loves you so much and you could at least show a bit more warmth! It makes me embarrassed to be your mother sometimes!!!!!” At 14:57 she will calmly ask you to come and help peel carrots in the kitchen.
Mood swings part 2
In public, she’ll sing your praises. “Yes, this is my baby girl!!! All grown up now!!! Yes she gets all A*’s she’s very clever she always helps me round the house she’s all I could ever wish for and more!!!” But in private? The second you put a toe out of line she’ll be screaming something like “WHAT SIN DID I COMMIT TO DESERVE SUCH EVIL CHILDREN?????”. It’s hard to keep up sometimes.
ALL OF THE UNNECESSARY COMMENTS
Comments on your hair, shoes, outfit. All of it too ‘Westernized’, doubtless. All unwarranted, but expect to be killed and buried in the garden if you try to suggest that you didn’t ask for her opinion.
But, when all is said and done, I love my mum. Just not when she screams at me.