Bisexuality does not equal promiscuity

Bisexual people are not necessarily promiscuous, our sexuality is not a commodity, and why do people always ask if we’re into threesomes? Mention that you are bisexual and expect to be asked if you’re into threesomes far too many times. I, personally, have no interest in them. One guy took this information to mean that I was a “useless bisexual”. Imagine thinking my sexuality was there for men to use. When I came out to one of my (ex) friends, she said: “Ahhh, now all the guys will think you’re so hot!”. What the fuck.

I think people have the terms bisexuality and polyamory mixed up. They are not one and the same. They do not automatically go hand-in-hand. There is zero correlation. It’s just one of the many misconceptions about bisexual people that we need to address. My own mother (not knowing that I am, in fact, bi) said something along the lines of: “But, wouldn’t you worry about seeing someone who was bisexual because they’re sort of twice as likely to cheat?”.

Think about ANY time you have seen a bisexual character in a TV show or movie (which, even to start with, is a rarity). I was watching an episode of US Shameless and they had one of the characters claim that because he was having sex with a woman, and he was in a relationship with a man, that it wasn’t cheating. Seriously, I’ve never heard a single bisexual think this is true.

We either have this option of being portrayed as sex maniacs who can’t help but cheat, or we are literally just non-existent. A lot of film and TV characters are clearly bisexual, but people seem terrified of using the term ‘bisexual’. Take Orange Is The New Black, full of lesbian relationships and sex scenes, yet it took them seven seasons to refer to Piper as bisexual. The entire rest of the series, she is either referred to as straight or lesbian, a perfect example of bi-erasure

I’m aware that these are made-up television shows, but bisexual characters are always given this damaging narrative of being sex-crazed adulterers. Bisexual people are being given a single story in the media and in everyone’s perception. Bisexuality doesn’t mean we like to have sex with everything that moves. Don’t flatter yourself… we are bi, and still. Not. Into. You.

Amy Smith

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