5 signs he’s a Rugby Boy

As England are in the Rugby World Cup Final this Saturday, you’ll undoubtedly be down the pub at 9 am with a pint, trying to see the screen through a sea of Rugby Boys. After spending some time at uni, you might think you’ve got a keen eye to spot the Rugby Boy (patent pending). Sure, they’re lairy, probably in a huddle, but what about when they’re on their own? Suddenly, the Rugby Boy becomes an enigma, a random face in the sea of students. And then what?

Don’t worry, here are five signs you can look out for to truly check if he’s a Rugby Boy and not just one of the Lads Lads Lads.

1. He Secretly shops at M&S

Being broke is a staple of student life – but there’s something off about the Rugby Boy. Something… posh.

While we’re all slumming it in Aldi, the Rugby Boy has been known to make secret, frequent trips to the more elite supermarket. At first, you’ll notice a nice meal deal, maybe some couscous, but then it takes new heights. Before you know it, you’ll realise their cupboards are filled with M&S goodies. Unfortunately for them, they will all probably be stolen by housemates and resulting in the Rugby Boy leaving passive-aggressive post-its on the fridge.

2. he Has an unmatched taste for Strongbow Dark Fruit

Sure, they’ll be strawpedoing bottles of wine, or downing a number of *ahem* fluids on nights out, but there’s something about a Strongbow Dark Fruit that just catches the Rugby Boy’s eye. Something special. Is it their incredibly sexy, little black outfit? The little purple eyeshadow? The way the can hisses in delight as he opens them? Well, quite frankly, I don’t know, but open one of these bad boys and the rugby lads will come flocking like a moth to a flame.

Although this can be annoying, their flavour can also work in your favour; if you happen to blackout on a night out and wake up with a tart, fruity taste in your mouth, you’ll know, it happened… you were preyed upon by one of them

3. He owns an ungodly amount of fancy dress

While polo shirts are the Rugby Boy’s go-to everyday look, it’s often their costumes that take up a lot of their wardrobe. Thanks to their themed socials, the Rugby Boy will have collected an insane amount of fancy dress outfits that could rival any Halloween store. From school uniforms to nurses outfits, the Rugby Boy is the ideal friend you need this Halloween weekend if you’ve not got a costume. So, to really tell if he’s a rugby boy, just open up his wardrobe and see how many wigs fall out!

4. He has a Gruff voice

You might be thinking ‘Wow, this is oddly specific. Does this have something to do with their DNA?’ Sadly, no. It’s simply because they’ve been chanting.

Yes, for thousands of years, as a society we have used chants to ceremoniously bond together, uniting the many from the few, but the Rugby Boy has taken this to a new extreme. An adopted part of lad culture, the chants that often wake you up at 5 am when you’ve got a 9 am lecture the next morning don’t just annoy you, they have a knock-on effect on their singer’s health. Risking life and lymph nodes, the Rugby Boy will sound so smooth because they’ve done permanent damage to their voices.

5. He Constantly seems to have a girl on the go

As their sport involves a lot of physical contact with other men the Rugby Boy often has a lot of pent up frustration. Because of this, they typically enjoy nothing more than talking about their ‘wild’ sex life. The girl from the bar you just missed, the gal from that one module only he takes, the older woman he pulled while on his weekly shop – what’s the common theme? None of them is ever actually seen.

But they wouldn’t lie, right? WRONG. These examples are the uni equivalent of ‘she goes to another school.’ Because, let’s be honest, even if they did make out with someone last night, they were so hammered, there’s no way he could remember it.

What’s your experience with rugby boys? Am I way off base or totally accurate?

Alison Irlam

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