5 items students couldn't live without in an apocalypse
#tyro #NORM #SKINT #Students
As a result of the delightful weather conditions both global warming and the arctic thrust upon the UK in the final week of February, many frozen and concerned faces flocked to the supermarkets to stock up on store cupboard essentials like crumpets before they got snowed in.
Suddenly, broccoli was popular again. The cheapest vegetable for students - around 50p per crown - we filled our baskets frantically, fearing we'd never see broccoli again. As I purchased my very own floret, it got me wondering what few items could London-based students not live without? If the apocalypse did come, would broccoli still be a firm favourite?
Condoms are gifts from the sexual health clinic god's and ideal if you don't fancy an ST with your D. You already know that though, so you're probably confused about whether there are any special, unheard of assets that deem them worthy enough to make an end of the world picnic basket. Alas, my friend, no. It's just that no one wants to possess more life than they own already towards the end of the world, that would make you a prime cut of steak in a zombie's eyes.
It's only natural to want the end of the world to be as fuss-free as possible, which is why having another person make your sandwich for you is vital. You could be experiencing sickening stomach pangs similar to those endured throughout a hangover - the only way to cure them is through a toasted, doughy, melted meal held together by fragile tissue.
There's a lot of walking involved around university and presumably the apocalypse too, and no one can outrun danger in uggs or espadrilles. You need to look stylish while you make your escape. Sure, lace-ups aren't ideal and could hold you back during the inevitable-race-for-your-life thing that's coming, but Stan Smiths are light, comfy and very on brand.
Like a wedding or the Eurovision Song Contest, you're not expected to remain sober throughout the apocalypse. Drinking helps ease the anxiety and emotional trauma curated by the thought of not living to see another day. Echo Falls is a classy go-to for students. It's cheap and reliable. Again, just like the Eurovision Song Contest actually.
Student discount cards: NUS, UNIDAYS, Student Beans
You're definitely not doing the whole student thing properly if you aren't persistently dangling a student discount code in front of suspecting cashier's faces, and perpetually perplexed when they inform you that you're only getting 11% off (Monki, I'm looking at you). If you're going to die, then at least bargain your worth.