Are your Uni friends the best you’ll ever have? Here’s how to know.
You see them every day. You eat with them every day. You know whose funky smell is whose. You hear them snoring in bed (in fact, you hear everything they do in bed…). You see them stressed, calm, hungover, absolutely plastered, in pyjamas, in denial, in debt, and, most importantly: you press your butt cheeks against the same toilet seat as them.
From the outside, you look like a family. But is the common belief that your Uni friends become your besties for life actually true?
As someone whose main set of friends are the friends I’ve had since high school, I don’t think it’s simply sharing bog roll that results in watertight friendships - you can find besties anywhere.
I’ve pinpointed some of the things that let me know when I’ve made a solid friend at Uni.
They make you feel like a boss
Robert Rowney, a certified psychiatrist and the director of the Cleveland Clinic mood disorder unit says that “Real friends naturally boost your self-esteem”. Good friends are the first ones to knock on your door to tell you that you’re not an idiot when you’ve come back in a huff about your bad marks or the first to mention that you're totally pulling off that outfit even though you think you’re not.
They kill your Uni stress
This 2011 study shows that bezzie mates can actually reduce stress. When kids were placed into an unpleasant situation, they showed more signs of stress compared to kids who were with their BBF’s at the time.
They don’t flake
Between revising, contact hours, and sports or society obligations, the genuine friends should still find time for you. Everyone hates a flake, for a good reason - they make you feel like crap. You shouldn’t always have to work around their schedule. If there’s someone they really want to see, they’ll make the time.
They make sure things get ‘turnt.’
Hanging out with your best mates is always fun, whatever you're doing.
At best, they boost your grades, at worst, they improve your study ethic
When you can't make any sense of a whole module because your friends offer too many good distractions from your work, that friendship could be screwing things up for you. Be careful you’re not just using each other as a distraction from the work you have to do. A good buddy will do their best to make sure you do your best.
They tell you when you’ve messed up
Perhaps the hardest one to come across. When you do something stupid, it’s easy for others to sweep it under the carpet and hope it doesn’t come back, finding it too awkward to go into the heart of the problem. But a good friend will clock on when your behaviour is detrimental to your own wellbeing. It can take real courage to give you the metaphorical slap around the face you need to see sense, especially if it means risking how cushty your relationship is - that's when you know they care.
If your Uni mates are hitting on some or all of these marks, then you’re probably on your way to a keeper, and I recommend you keep on trucking with them. But if they aren't, then maybe the prophecy of 'Uni Besties' might not be true for you, so make sure you don't lose focus on the people who are doing these things.
#tyro #NORM #friends #DIGS