5 days, 6 hours ago

Three problems that only female students face

It’s hard work, being a woman. Once you think you’ve nailed the ability to ride the bike of pre-adolescence, you’re shocked to find that in fact there are a variety of cycles requiring your fabulous bottom’s attention. Whilst the motorcycle is a firm favourite (and leather jackets fuel your sex drive), there is one cycle in particular that you’ll never be able to avoid: the menstrual cycle.

Whenever Mother Nature arrives, life - as well as your nice knickers - must be put on hold. Like University she comes bearing gifts of the panic and unjustifiable angst variety, however, unlike Uni, she doesn’t offer you a loan to subsidise it. Periods cost - period.

Female freshers simply don’t have the bills for the blob, and that’s only the start of their problems fuelled by their vaginas.

1) To shave or to behave? That is the question

How someone keeps their garden is down to personal preference. It’s the same for bedrooms: tidy or absolute massacre? No one is going to force you to tidy your room. However, sometimes it can be therapeutic and, if you’re having guests around then, it’s only good manners to give it a bit of a spruce up beforehand.

When a woman shaves, she is determining how much action she is willing to let herself in for throughout the forthcoming days. Choosing which razor she purchases is similar to how one would purchase a lawnmower before the summer. If she obtains a decent bit of kit, it is possible to assume that she has high expectations for a good forecast.

2) Hoorah for the sports bra

A fundamental aspect of every University is its gym or the proximity in which the cheapest one is to your campus. It’s a place to go to burn off booze and wear crop tops.

University gyms are usually approached with ‘New Year, New Me’ mindsets. Students go in all guns blazing, metaphorically pumped before any actual pumping occurs. They sign up for a lifetime of squats only to use the equipment once and the vending machine multiple times.

If a woman wishes to use the gym, she has to invest in a lot more than dumbbells. An efficient sports bra is vital, no matter how extreme the Shrove Tuesday situation is on her chest.

3) The makeup breakup

Obviously, nobody needs makeup #naturalbeauty #whatdoyoumeanitsallreal, yet this doesn’t stop people from loving it. Women’s magazines and online sites churn out pieces on ‘best buys’ on a regular basis, and bloggers are slathering cleansers onto their faces as though they’re spreading Nutella on toast.

We’re conditioned to long for skin care products with the promise that they’ll cure our blemished skin, as well as the one or two social problems which blossom from a spot that’s set up camp by the corner of our mouths (come on, who is actually going to kiss that?).

Unfortunately, like the loos in London, toiletries come at a price. Female freshers have to embark on a separate shop to purchase what will prevent them from looking like a sprouting potato in the morning, on top of the standard one for food.

#tyro #NATIONAL #NORM #SKINT #freshers #women