5 months, 2 weeks ago

My love/hate relationship with Nottingham nightlife.

One thing I’ve loved about living in Nottingham is that the nightlife is incredibly varied. I live in a town on the outskirts of Birmingham, and if you aren’t going out in the city centre, the only place to go out is filled with everyone you went to school with (and the average age has been lowered to 16 these days). Over the last two years, I’ve spent nights in Stealth, Rescue Rooms, Forum/Pom Pom, Oceana/Pryzm, Trent SU, Coco Tang, Bierkeller, and Volt, but the places I’ve spent the most time in are Ocean, Rock City and Ink. As fun as these clubs are, there are inescapable drawbacks which I’ve done my best to summarise.


Anybody that knows me knows that I have a soft spot for cheesy music – and Ocean certainly knows how to fill it. I may always be able to telegraph the Abba rotation (Dancing Queen into Grease Lightning, ending with Thank You For the Music) but by that point of the night, I’m way too drunk to care. To this day, I’ve never seen a dead night at Ocean – even at the peak of exam season. If you don’t go every single week (anything can get too repetitive eventually), then you’re almost guaranteed a good night when you decide to make an appearance. I got to see my friend do his best Floyd Mayweather impression as he dodged the swinging fists of a girl who he had angered with the way he was looking at her. Priceless. A difficult family situation sent me to my lowest point last year, and it was a Friday night in Ocean surrounded by close friends that helped me pull through, so maybe it holds a special place in my heart for that reason. Also, 60% of girls that I have pulled while at uni (Yes I did the maths. No, YOU get a life) have been pulled in Ocean. So, you know, there’s that.

However, I absolutely despise it when the Baywatch theme tune comes on. Honestly, f*** that song. When it comes on, that is the cue for people in the room to take their shirts off and wave them violently in the air. Firstly, I love food WAY too much to have a physique worthy of showing off, so I don’t join in. Secondly, there’s always one bellend who keeps hitting you in the face with his shirt, and then gives you a dirty look when you try and push him away. The one time I did join in (as a naïve fresher), I actually lost the shirt that I came into the club with. I ended up going home in a random shirt that someone found on the floor, which happened to be too small for me. I don’t need that in my life.

Rock City

Rock City, specifically Crisis, is my favourite night out in Nottingham. It’s within reasonable walking distance from Lenton, which came in very handy in my second year. It’s difficult to come across enough tickets for you and your friends, but that just makes the novelty of going even sweeter. As well as being the only club I’ve found so far that sells Skittlebombs, it's always full and the dancefloor is busy without leaving you constantly buffeted from all sides. For what it’s worth, the other 40% of girls were pulled at Crisis.

My biggest gripe with Crisis is that getting tickets for the night is a massive pain in the backside. Tickets sell out in under a minute when they go on sale, so most of the time we have to plan nights out months in advance when I barely know what I’m going to have for breakfast the next day. If you’re that desperate, you may have to navigate the online black market that is Buy and Sell, where you might have to buy tickets for twice their original price. You go through all of that effort, and you still might have to get to the club for 9 pm.


Ah, first-year memories. When Ink Mondays was still a thing (RIP), it was where we spent a lot of our time, meaning that my Tuesday 9 am lecture was either attended hungover or not attended at all. I only went once during my second year (nights out were much more infrequent in general), but I still had a great night.

Remember when I said Rock City was the good kind of crowded? Well, Ink is completely the opposite. Being on the main dancefloor reminds me of videos of Japanese people being squeezed onto a train, and there’s always someone trying to start a mosh pit when 'Feed Em to the Lions' comes on. Again, I don’t need that in my life - so many spilt drinks. Not to mention that I’ve almost stacked it on the stairs to the main dancefloor approximately 45483 times.

What are your favourite and least favourite things about Nottingham's nightlife? Let me know in the comments.

#tyro #tyronorth #nottingham #sesh